Around the age of 16-17, I came to the realization that I was not going to grow anymore. I knew this was not negotiable, and I would remain just under six feet tall forever (unless in high heels, of course). Although I wanted to be closer to seven feet tall, I came to accept that it wasn’t possible for me to (vertically) grow any more. But what about growing in ways that are not physical?
Driving home last week, I had a sudden realization that scared the you-know-what outta’ me: I don’t need to grow (academically, socially, developmentally, spiritually etc.) one more bit to sustain this life of mine!! Right now, I have all of the skills I will EVER need to keep living like this. I know how to communicate, I can weld, I can cook, I can drive, I can play baseball, I can draw, I can write, I can Love, and I know basic First Aid. Every skill I will ever need to continue THIS life, I already have. I don’t even really need to THINK, as I do many of these skills automatically. I’ve been using my skills for so long that my subconscious just takes over. Pretty amazing. Or should I say, pretty disgusting! This is where/why most get STUCK, I believe.
There will come a time when we reach a self-satisfying plateau in certain areas of our life. For many, once you get a “good job”, you stop looking for another one. Why would you look for a job when you’re already employed?? My Dad squirms when I mention “pursuing my dreams,” because he knows I have a good job right now. He had struggles that I can’t even fathom, yet he raised a family and seldom complained. I don’t have the heart to ask him, “Why did you settle, Dad?” as I don’t want to offend his efforts. But for so many, once we’re comfortable, we’re happy – and there’s nothing wrong with that! But what is it that makes SOME people want to do MORE? Why do some wish to continue feeding their mind with information when they already have everything they need? I believe it’s our HEARTS that are letting us know that we need to do more to feel completely satisfied.
For me, I know I am happy now. I have a skilled trade, a good marriage and health. But I also know there’s this burning desire within me that’s pushing me every day; it’s a silent voice that’s not going to let me settle. I estimate that right now that I’m using about 15-20% of my true potential on a daily basis. “Well, what are you doing with the other 80%??” I’m glad you asked!! I’m doing little with 80% of my potential. So, I’m planning on giving up on THIS life, as I know it’s downright stupid to let so much go to waste, right? Today, I’m deciding that I’m never going to stop growing. I don’t care if I’m on my deathbed – gimme’ more to learn and help me grow!
Ultimately, I think we stop growing when we DECIDE to. If you’re not seeking more from life, then you need not learn more. Just keep hittin’ REPLAY on your days and live it out as you wish. I, however, know I’m tired of this life. I’m tired of seeing the exact same things at the exact same time everyday. I may have stopped growing physically in my teens, but I know that true, personal growth never ends in the pursuit of your dreams and your true purpose. I’m reclaiming my 80%!!! Please, NEVER GIVE UP!!!!