The P.M. Slice…

Pizza used to be one of my all-time favorite foods.  Probably yours, too.  When I was a kid, I used to love going to Pizza Pizza with my Dad.  I would get a gigantic, fresh slice of that hot bready, cheesy, saucy, meaty goodness – and I’d be so bloody happy!  Nothing seemed to bother me, as long as I had that triangular treat underneath my nose.  The perfect crunch, the flavours, the smells, the hot cheese burning my inner roof.  Just amazing!  But then things changed.

Many years later, I still do enjoy pizza.  But y’know what really aggravates me?  The P.M. slice!  That’s right.  The slice you purchase between 7pm-midnight.  You’re so hungry, and the three slices available through that arched window don’t look too appealing.  They look really dry, with flies flyin’ around it; and when it’s “warmed up” again in the oven, any last pinch of moisture is sucked outta’ that once-lively snack.  It’s garbage!  I have cut my throat before on the razor-blade-like crust.  It’s just not right!

Understandably, the pizza places *ahem* don’t wanna’ put on a fresh one just hours before closing.  It’s inefficient, and they could lose money if it’s not sold!  But one thing I learned working in customer service, is that the customer that comes in at closing, is just as important as the day’s first customer.  I’ve had the pizza guy look surprised when I actually order the deserted slice just layin’ there.  One time I think I saw tumbleweeds; even they were bailin’!  This is Bull!  But the real kicker???  Oh, I’m glad you asked!  How about..          …..PRICE!  You guessed it – you’re paying the same price at 11:59pm for that hard, stale, buggy, (probably) sneezed-on (a few times) slice!  It should be FREE, or maybe $1; but it’s typically around $4/slice.  You would never pay top dollar for anything that wasn’t top quality, right?    

I really don’t like to complain…about anything!  But this needed to come out.  It’s basic customer service vs. saving money (and saving money always wins!)  I know a lotta’ people might say, “Well why don’t you go when the pizza is fresh?”  Wow….genius!  But that’s not the point.  In almost any industry, when a product is damaged or inadequate, the price is reduced to reflect that imperfection.  Health inspectors would probably say you can’t even SELL something that’s been sittin’ out for so long!  All I want is fairness.  Please take this seriously, pizza corporations.  

Blaise Papa Roni

10 thoughts on “The P.M. Slice…”

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